Transmigrated Into A Tragic Romance Fantasy – Chapter 53

Connection

“How did someone as brilliant as you end up like this?”

Isn’t that just how humans are?

Just because you’re brilliant doesn’t mean you can live your whole life that way.

“And why didn’t you return or ask for help after suffering such humiliation?”

You know it too.

My stubbornness, my innate thirst for knowledge led me down that path.

After working so hard to get there, how could I flee? How could I ask for help?

I had ignored the warnings and concerns about the dark side of noble society to get there.

If my father had known, I would never have been the top graduate.

He would have immediately called me back.

At first, I didn’t think about revenge.

If any of the four had shown genuine regret and reflection, I would have forgiven them.

Although I used family tradition, I didn’t intend to harm it.

After all, marrying the winner and living happily ever after is the ultimate goal of the marriage contest.

“Do you intend to choose between Prince Deron and Prince Blund for your fiancé?”

Heh.

Choose between Deron and Blund?

That’s a grand notion, isn’t it?

But what can I do?

Now, I don’t know anymore.

At first, I was open to the possibility, but now it feels closed off.

Now, I don’t want to know anything anymore.

“Please, please come to your senses! Where has the Grand Duchess I once served gone?”

Sorry, I don’t know that either.

Can you find it for me?

Where I’m heading?

“I’m afraid something terrible will happen to you. Please, return to the way you were. I beg of you.”

Hahaha.

What could happen now that hasn’t already?

Maybe I should have died back then, instead of enduring the pain that felt like death.

Not because of the monster chieftain’s curse, but maybe my very existence was the curse?

Everyone is suffering because of someone like me.

Slap-!!

…Gelwood?

Did you just hit my cheek…?

“Please, awaken from your misguided desire for revenge! You are different from Deron and his group, aren’t you!”

…Different?

……Am I?

………Probably not.

Look.

I’m someone who deserves to be hit.

Just like Deron and his group deserve it, I do too. So, how are we different?

“I’ll accept any punishment for this. But please, don’t disregard my feelings for you. You are someone deserving of love.”

Hahahaha.

Haha.

Ha.

Gelwood, do you know?

Whether it’s red or blue, all shadows are black.

Maybe I didn’t just learn academics at the academy.

In my pursuit of knowledge, I ended up learning what I shouldn’t have.

Well.

Humans are animals that learn throughout their lives, adapting quickly to changes and environments.

Through such evolution, humanity became the rulers of all things.

Isn’t it natural for three years of violence and abuse to be imprinted on me, like a law of nature?

It’s only natural for it to become an indelible mark, something that can’t be erased or carved away.

Maybe I dragged them into the marriage contest just to crush them.

The claim of leading and guiding them was just a cowardly rationalization by the weak.

Pretending to be clean and noble, thinking I was different from them was just a farce.

I probably called them into this hell because I wanted to bite them personally rather than holding them accountable officially.

While being in hell myself, I invited them in.

Yes.

I was a hypocrite who hid the truth and resorted to absurdities.

Right.

I was a fool who tried to catch two rabbits and ended up catching none.

I get it now.

Being mixed with trash, I became trash myself.

So don’t worry, Gelwood.

As everyone wishes, I’ll stop this revenge.

I won’t dirty my hands anymore.

I’ll choose one of the remaining candidates and get engaged.

However.

Just as my father learns of his youngest daughter’s ugliness, shouldn’t the fathers of the candidates also know their children’s ugliness?

If there is a family willing to marry into the Winterfell Grand Duchy after knowing what their child has done, I’ll gladly forgive.

And I’ll end it like that.

As everyone wishes.

Let’s have a happy ending.

Just like that.

**

“Ha…”

Remian sighed deeply, not knowing which emotions to follow in a day that changed thousands of times.

She laughed, then cried, felt resentment, and then sighed again.

Even at the moment she sent letters to the Kellyd Duke and Rosfel Marquis families, she sighed for reasons she couldn’t explain.

Was it regret that everything was over now?

Regret for not having done this sooner?

Was it self-pity for not realizing she had smeared herself with the filth she tried to trample?

She didn’t know.

As she walked toward the third outer wall, feeling like livestock heading to the slaughterhouse, that sigh held her back.

Remian looked up at the night sky.

The lonely moon shining in the pitch-black darkness felt like herself, and the clouds drifting across the moon felt like Elden, making her smile bitterly.

Remian raised her bandaged left hand.

She tried to grasp the distant, drifting clouds, but they just floated away.

Why do I want to hold those clouds?

Now that everything is over, we should just walk our separate paths like the moon and the clouds.

Why does foolish attachment cling to me?

I read it in a book once.

To catch a monster, you must become a monster.

The author explained that to catch a powerful monster, you must have equivalent strength, but now I understand the hidden meaning.

Trying to catch the wicked, I became wicked myself.

Looking into the abyss, I was stained by it, proving that meaning.

The moon and clouds, now distant at the ends of her sight.

Hoping the clouds would circle the world and come close again, she lowered her hand and head.

And then.

“…What are you doing?”

She met Elden as if it were a lie.

Turning a corner, they faced each other on the narrow path.

Was it another cruel dream?

Or a vain delusion?

A pitiful reality?

Unable to distinguish, Remian moved her cracked lips as if in a trance.

“I was… watching the clouds.”

In her faint vision, she saw a beautiful silhouette.

A woman with short purple hair that matched well with her red dress.

“Did you… get a lover already…? She’s pretty…”

“It’s a misunderstanding. She’s just accompanying me to an important event.”

“I see… well…”

“What happened to your hand?”

Remian looked at her bandaged left hand.

The hand that slapped Elden’s cheek.

The hand she had pressed with sharp nails because it disgusted her.

“I pressed it with my nails…”

“…Did you… self-harm?”

Remian smiled bitterly instead of answering and looked at Elden’s cheek.

Though it was frightening to face, her gaze naturally turned to the cheek that had bled.

And she saw that it had healed cleanly.

“…Your wound… has healed…?”

Why was it?

Why did seeing his cleanly healed cheek bring such relief?

Why was it?

Why did she feel so small in front of him?

What was it?

Why was it hard to meet his unwavering eyes even after he suffered violence?

And then.

“Yes.”

His answer made her heart burst out.

“That’s… good…”

If he had a scar like hers, she wouldn’t have been able to face him.

If he had a scar like the ones on her body, she might have fainted.

So it was a great relief.

That the wound had healed cleanly and disappeared.

Of course, it didn’t erase her violence, but still.

“I’ll… go now…”

Remian passed Elden as she said that.

Her legs felt twice as heavy as before, but she trudged along.

Then, she heard his voice from behind.

“Grand Duchess.”

She stopped walking.

She willingly turned around.

And then.

“Take this. It will prevent the scars from remaining.”

Elden approached and handed her something.

It was a thin, round tube.

“Although it cannot do anything for the scars that have already formed, it is very effective for healing wounds that are still healing.”

“…Why…?”

Why give it to me…?

Aren’t you angry at me…?

When Remian couldn’t take it, Elden placed it directly into her right hand.

“Then I’ll be going.”

He turned and walked away.

Suddenly, the approaching cloud began to drift away again.

Remian looked at the ointment in her hand.

Elden, who left after giving ointment to the one who inflicted a wound severe enough to draw blood.

Elden, who left after showing concern for the hand that scratched his cheek.

She couldn’t understand his heart.

She hated and resented the indifferent bystander to death, not wanting to give him anything, yet he gave ointment to the one who inflicted violence on him.

How could he so easily erase the violence inflicted on his cheek?

How could he approach with a calm face and offer comfort despite the hand that scratched his cheek right in front of him?

She couldn’t understand it at all, and it made her feel her past self was truly petty and cowardly.

Additionally.

Everything she had done until now felt futile and hollow.

That’s probably why.

Gulp.

Tears welled up.

Gulp.

Grief burst forth.

The back of the departing cloud began to shimmer as if meeting the waves, and the cry she had suppressed and held back finally burst out.

The mouth that had forced out laughter to avoid crying, finally started to cry.

Unable to bear the weight of her heavy heart, Remian sat down, and she had to cry for a long time.

“Sob… sob…”

Just like at the academy.

Just like in the past.

Watching Elden’s departing figure.

Clutching the help he had just given her tightly in her hand.

After a while.

A gentle rain began to fall from the sky.